In previous articles on this subject Assertive Communication Step 2 I told you about body language. In Assertive Communication Step 1, we looked how body language can influence situations.
Last month talked about taking things a step further Assertive Communication Step 3 and looked at how people communicate in different ways and this months feature will carry on that subject.
Let me elaborate.
A visual person by his very nature will expect an immediate response and will use words like "can you see what I'm saying"?
Of course the kinaesthetic person can not "SEE" what the other person is saying as they are not thinking in pictures and images; they're using their feelings and emotions and therefore will be slower to respond.
If you as the visual person were to recognize these signs, how powerful do you think you could become at communicating, assertively and confidently.
By using words like "can you feel what I'm saying" you immediately send them a message in their own "feedback sandwich" using terms that they can understand and equate to.
By the same token, if the other person is primarily auditory and thinking and processing in sounds and words, by simply changing your speech patterns and asking "can you hear what I'm saying" you are again communicating in theIR language and their unconscious mind can then process the information you are giving them in their "own language".
An auditory person will breathe from the middle of their chests and will think about something and analyze it before responding.
Learning to recognize and understand these signs and "modalities" are a very powerful way of increasing your understanding of human nature and the way that individuals operate, and are a fantastic TOOL that you can use.
Clues to watch out for are in speech patterns.
What kind of words are the people in your office using?
Visual: Look, picture, focus, imagination, insight, scene, blank, visualize, perspective, shine, reflect, clarify, examine, eye, focus, notice, watch.
Auditory: Say, accent, rhythm, loud, tone, resonate, sound, monotonous, deaf, ring, shout, remark, listen, speechless, vocal, silence, shrill, quiet.
Kinaesthetic: Touch, handle, contact, push, rub, solid, warm, cold, rough, tackle, push, pressure, sensitive, stress, tension, touch, gentle.
Olfactory: Scented, stale, fishy, nosy, fragrant, smoky, fresh.
Gustatory: Sour, flavor, bitter, taste, fishy, salty, juicy, sweet.
Do not be afraid to experiment and have fun, create some games with your collections and guess what kind of "modality" they are.
Then spend a morning conversing with each other in the correct modalities for each other and see what kind of affect it can create and how it can make a huge difference in the way that messages are "sent" and "received".
Of course all this is a very simplistic way of presenting this and there is obviously a lot to be learned that can only be taught in a controlled and fun environment, but this is a start and will initiate your thought processes and at the very least it will give you a much deeper understanding of the power of speech and the effect it can or can not have.
All these exercise and much more can be experienced firsthand by booking Garth Delikan, The Lifestyle Guy for a half day program on "Assertive Communication" where all these principles and techniques will be taught to you and your department in a fun role play situation where you will gain a greater understanding of everything covered in this article.
The Lifestyle Guy – Personal Empowerment Coach